Why Good Pick Up Lines Won’t Get You Girls Online

There has never been a better time in history for dating girls:

Today, you can find millions of beautiful girls online. Just look around you: First, they are on dating websites or in online flirt communities. And, what’s even more interesting, you also find literally millions of single women on the social networks. Yes, literally millions. In fact, there are over 100 million girls on MySpace. And there are another 60 million girls on facebook, with those numbers growing each day by the ten thousands.

You have to admit: That’s a lot of girls! You could be the most social guy in your whole area — and still, the number of hot women you might meet this way would totally fade in comparison.

You can actually compare flirting on dating sites with flirting on a singles party in your town. Social networking, on the other hand, would be more like meeting your dream girl through your circle of friends. And isn’t that the most natural way for people to get a girlfriend, anyway? Surveys have shown that 56% of people in a relationship actually have met their partners through common friends or on their job. And if you ask women what they believe is the best way to meet a partner, a staggering 73% of them will say their social circle:

Girls expect their partner to show up not on some fancy dating website but rather through common friends, in social activities, on their job or at school.

In the online dating world, MySpace and Facebook are as close as you can get to that. And it’s true: You can even find a girlfriend on Facebook, and you can find a girlfriend on MySpace as well.

So how do you approach beautiful girls on Facebook? And how do you approach hot girls on MySpace?

Here is what most guys will think when they stumple upon a woman’s profile: "Why would she even want to talk to me?". And, truth be told, beautiful girls usually do have a long, impressive list of friends, and most of them get ten or twenty e-mails from strangers every day — that is, from strangers who are trying to get to know her.

And that’s not really surprising:

Talking to a girl online doesn’t take the balls you might need to approach a woman on the street. Approaching online is safe, because you spare yourself from any embarassing situation if she rejects you. Nobody will see it. In fact, if she’s not interested, she probably won’t even reply at all.

And because it seems so easy, many guys will give it a shot. They figure they’ve got nothing to lose. And in the end, 95% of the messages in a woman’s inbox will sound like "how are you doing?", "how was your weekend?" or "would you like to chat with me?".

To make a long story short, most pick up e-mails a girl receives are dead boring. And after a week on Facebook or MySpace, a cute girl will have learned to spot and delete them in an instant. For girls on Facebook, MySpace or datig sites it’s just like you and I can spot and delete spam messages without even reading their content.

So you probably wonder what to say to a girl on MySpace, or what to say to a girl on Facebook.

How do you approach girls in order to stand out?

How can you meet girls from social networks?

And, finally, how do you get a date on Facebook or MySpace?

You are not the only one askingthose questions. Three years ago, I used to struggle with them, too. Today I have written a book about how to date girls on MySpace and Facebook. And I want to share with you what I have learned over the years.

Dating girls is like building any other connection between people. There are always three steps. You could call them dating secrets, but in reality, you are likely to find them in any social interaction.

First, you need attention. Second, you need a connection. And, finally, you need commitment.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

However, most guys will act on their first intuition and mix up the three steps as soon as they start to flirt with a girl.

Just ask yourself: What is a guy doing when he starts a conversation by asking an attractive woman how her weekend has been? First, isn’t that kind of a weird question, given the fact that he doesn’t know her yet? And second, that is not exactly getting her attention, is it? If a guy approaches a hot girl by asking her how her weekend was, he’s actually trying to build a connection. He’s trying to make her share her thoughts and experiences with him right from the start. A strategy that is most likely to fail: It’s simply impossible to build a connection with somebody unless you’ve got their attention first.

What does attention mean? It means to stand out from the crowd. It means to make her recognize that you are different. It doesn’t mean you have to show that you are better than the other guys. Just that something about you is different. Getting her attention means to make her curious. That is to say, curious enough to make her reply.

Connection means to show her that you and her have something in common. It can be the same taste in music. It can be a similar hobby. And it can be a shared sense of humor. Humor, by the way, is the best pick up strategy anyway: If you can laugh with her, she will have fun talking to you. And in the end, that will lay the foundation for the third step:

Commitment. That is the final stage of every flirt. At this point, she will decide that you are somebody she wants to stick around. Only now you will get her phone number, meet her in real life or get a date.

So far for the theory. But how do you apply it?

Many guys want to learn how to talk to girls. When they see a beautiful woman, they simply forget who they are and fall into the trap of simply reacting to everything the girl does: They make their first mail a comment about something obvious from the girl’s profile. When she doesn’t reply instantly, they interpret it as a rejection and start to feel bad about themselves. And when she does reply but challenges them by being naughty,
they think she doesn’t like them and start making excuses and being extra nice. In truth, the reality is: Whenever she replies, she is interested.

Next time you see a beautiful woman on Facebook or on MySpace, send her this message (without the quotes):

Subject: "I really must say…"

Body: "That is a CUTE picture! Who is she? I really like your taste."

Just try it. 8 out of 10 girls on MySpace, Facebook or dating websites will reply. This message will get their attention.

The reason is simple:

This is a message that starts out like most of the everyday mails she’s getting ("your’re so cute"), but right in the next sentence, the whole meaning is turned on its head. Basically, you are saying that the picture is hot, and therefore you simply assume that it’s not her. The unexpected twist won’t make every girl laugh out loud, but in the end, most of them will feel challenged in some way and send you a reply.

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression, though:

Flirting is not about pick up lines. You can have the best pick up lines ever, and still never get a date and die as a virgin.

It’s not enough if you know how to approach a girl. You also need to know how to talk to a girl.

You can meet girls on Facebook and you can meet girls on MySpace, but you have to know how to flirt and make things escalate. You need to master all three steps of flirting — attention, connection and commitment.

Ordinary dating guides or flirting tips for men won’t get you any further here. They are written by editors in their fourties who work all day in an editor’s office, trying to meet the deadline for the next issue of their magazine or to somehow fill up their homepage with content.

You can become good at flirting. This is not so much a matter of HOW MUCH you study and try, but rather of WHAT IT IS that you study and try. You can put in hundreds of hours of discipline and optimism, but if you’re practicing the wrong thing, you’ll never see results, no matter how much you deserve them. On the other hand, if you find and do the right thing, you can become better than 80% of all the other guys out there fairly easily.

To show you what I mean I invite you to read the sample chapter of my book on how to attract girls on MySpace and Facebook.

The book will teach you everything you need: In it, you will learn how to make your profile attractive to girls.

You will learn all the ingredients of the perfect approach message.

You will learn what to talk about with a girl to build a connection.

In the book, you’ll also find games that you can play when you’re writing e-mails with a girl — games that will teach you things about her that she hasn’t even shared with her best friends.

Most important, you will learn how to escalate and how to transition from talking online to getting her phone number, talking on the phone and meeting her for the first time in real life.

To see for yourself how easy it is to see instant results you can learn more about flirting and how to meet women online on my website "TheCharmingYou". All the information there is free, including the online dating tips that I send out each week via e-mail.

You will be amazed!

(And don’t forget to try out the approach message you’ve just learned in this article.)

Your friend,
Leonard Baumgardt 

P.S.: I have received lots and lots of e-mails from people who have read my book and have had tremendous success with it. Of course, I know that it is always a risk to buy something online when you’re still not sure whether it will meet your expectations or not. And because of that, I’m offering a 100%-money-back guarantee to all my readers: If you’re not happy with the book, drop me an e-mail and I will send back your money. I’ve been doing that since I first published the book, and so far only two out of every hundred readers have asked for a refund — while many many more have written me thank-you e-mails and recommended my book to their friends. That makes me really proud. And it makes me confident, that you will love the book and the results that you’ll be getting with it.